We can be our own best friends or our worst enemies sometimes. More often than not, we know what we need to do in order to get where we need to go. Actually doing it, well thats a completely different story.
If most of us knew how to be perfect allies with ourselves, then my job probably wouldnt even exist. The reality is, its tough to bust your own balls for not doing something when you’ve become so good at kidding yourself. We all do it – justify our decisions and actions with well formulated excuses that seem legit. It can be hard to break this cycle as it become such a familiar narrative.
Breaking habitual thought patterns is a tough one, unless you have a pretty good bullshit detector and are willing to act on its alerts. Thats the hardest part, not so much having the awareness but the willingness to act upon that awareness. A great deal of resistance to change comes from the familiar narratives, actions and decisions that keep you stuck in place. Its like an echo chamber which always comes back to repeat the same dialogue that keeps you stagnating.
Being True To Numero Uno
Maybe its hard to confront yourself about why you aren’t doing what you know you should be. After all, why wouldnt we all have our best interests at heart? We should be our own biggest fans, and I think that an element of self sabotage undermines that, which makes it painful to accept that maybe we aren’t. Thats why we put up with bullshitting ourselves.
Positive changes are often met with a great deal of resistance, and is where we are confronted with aspects of ourselves that try to stand in our way. Whether you are trying to lose weight, live for longevity, increase your energy or heal from chronic illness, that resistance is at play, devaluing your attempts at positive change.
Its a strange thing to make sense of alone, and is difficult when you try to rationalise it to yourself. Again, making sense of it involves questioning yourself, which is painful for all of us. What does make it a lot easier though is having somebody there to confront you so you don’t have to. Justifying it to yourself is easy, but to somebody else who is aware of your intention to make positive changes; then your excuses and justifications don’t hold so much weight.
Having a person there to call you out on your bullshit is valuable, because its something thats hard to do for ourselves. A friend or accountability partner helps decipher the part of you that tries to cover up justifications and excuses for not doing your ‘push-ups’. No one else can do them for you, only you and your supportive self can.
The reason an accountability partner is so useful is because its a slightly easier, less painful way to identify your bullshit. Sure, you still have to face it, but old excuses just become too painful to utter in the presence of another human being. Plus they may sound utterly ridiculous when you say them to someone else. This exercise is beneficial in itself because actually hearing the excuses you feed yourself internally breeds better awareness and willingness to ignore them. You begin to become better at deciphering your bullshit and acting out against it. You could consider a partner as a means of nudging yourself in the right direction, to start acting within your own best interests.
Habits are the foundation that great health is built upon. They provide the base in which you nourish and support your higher needs. Undermining and deleterious habits eat away at that foundation making it harder to build a balanced lifestyle upon. Accountability is a big part of habitual change, and can provide the basis for cultivating deeply engrained and lasting habits that lead to positive change, physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.
Even in the face of illness, deleterious habits can be hard to shake, which is an even more intriguing/disturbing part of us, I know.
Part of my work as a coach is providing that accountability, ensuring you start acting with a greater sense of truth towards yourself – to heal, to thrive, to become your greatest ally.